Uncensored... from the new mommy

You know me… if you can’t handle the uncensored version of my labor/delivery you will want to move to the next post!
Things that surprised me about passing a nearly 8 pound watermelon out of my who-ha.

1. 
   
   As you all know… I said that I was going to “try” to have a natural birth. Well that was crap. By the time Dusty and I got to the hospital I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes apart and when they hooked me up to the machine the peeks were off the scale. The nurse even commented to Dusty that it was incredible that I could be smiling and having a conversation while having such hard contractions…. I was only dilated to 3 centimeters!!! Well by the time I was dilated to 5 (2 hours later) I was ready to chew my own arm off. To quote my mother.
   “If god wanted me to have natural child birth I would have been born a pioneer”


2. 
   
   When your water breaks it’s not just a big gush of water. You actually pass fluid the rest of labor. So it’s like you are consistently wetting your pants. The nurses have to change a pad on the bed ever hour because you are sitting in all of this nasty liquid. Lovely.


3. 
   
   Go ahead and get over your modesty. Every person in the hospital saw me naked… Yes, everyone. People would just walk in and ask the nurses and doctor questions while I was in stirrups, even the cleaning crew. Not only that, but everyone needed to look at my boobs to make sure that I would transition easily into breastfeeding.


4. 
   
   You really can feel when to push when you have an epidural. I only pushed for 45 minutes, which is great for a first time mother. Another girl had actively started to push a full hour before I started. Three hours after Taylor was born they decided to give the other women a cesarean section because she was too tired from pushed for so long. The doctors and nurses said I was a great “pusher” Which makes sense since I am great at everything I do.


5. 
   
   I was shocked that Taylor didn’t look mangled when she was born. All of the books you read say not to be surprised when the baby comes out bruised with a cone head. Taylor didn’t have a cone head at all and she didn’t have any bruising at all! She didn’t even cry until they gave her a bath. Hello, she is practically perfect in every way… Just like her Father, and Mary Poppins


6. 
   
   People say that after the baby is born you don’t realize what is going on with the afterbirth… because you are distracted… well they are wrong!! I knew exactly what was going on and I did NOT like it. Hello, after birth.


7. 
   
   My biggest fear… yes the tearing… happened to me too L because I was such a “great pusher” my doctor couldn’t stop the tearing. Not too bad but I needed 2 stitches. YEP STITCHES IN MY WHO-HA


8. 
   
   The pain after the birth has been the hardest part of the whole experience. Swelling and stitches as well as contractions over the past 4 days while my uterus shrinks. I was really not prepared for the recovery. If my mom wasn’t here I would have lost my mind. Because it hurts to sit, stand and walk and lay down. But I’m starting to feel a little better.


9. 
   
   That giving birth was the best experience of my whole life and I would do it again tomorrow. Plus Taylor is a babe…. Just like her mom.